{"id":1269,"date":"2014-09-28T12:41:59","date_gmt":"2014-09-28T19:41:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/slowsuburbandeath.com\/?p=1269"},"modified":"2014-09-28T12:41:59","modified_gmt":"2014-09-28T19:41:59","slug":"dream-state-lip-balm-the-murderer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/annapirhana.com\/?p=1269","title":{"rendered":"Dream State – Lip balm the murderer"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"lipbalm\"<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

This was not a pizza dream.<\/em><\/p>\n

A serial killer had gotten around to killing some friends, a horrible thing when I ran across San Francisco’s Polk Street looking for a futon shop.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

I had gotten a phone call from the police.\u00a0 I was the killer’s next target, they surmised, although there was no rhyme or reason to their assumption.\u00a0 The police said that I was the person best suited to stop the killer.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

They demanded that I hide under a thick white futon.\u00a0 When the killer approached, I was to slather lip balm all over his thick, rubbery mouth.\u00a0 This was his kryptonite, he said.\u00a0 This was how I was to kill the killer.<\/em><\/p>\n

As I ran along past Washington and Polk Streets, I began to think of the killings.\u00a0 All the victims, along with this future victim, were friends.\u00a0 We were close enough to be family.\u00a0 Why did the police not realize this?<\/em><\/p>\n

I finally found a futon shop and sat down on a bed for sale.\u00a0 The sales staff stared at me, and they already seemed to know why I was there.<\/em><\/p>\n

“Suck it up and catch the murderer,” they screamed.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

I told them that I found the serial killer’s pattern, and perhaps the police would listen to me rather than insist that I offer myself up as a sacrifice.\u00a0 After all, I did not have the accuracy to target some killer’s lips to apply the balm.<\/em><\/p>\n

I woke up when my dog licked me on my ear.<\/p>\n

Happy this is the last day of baseball, when so many races are to be decided.<\/p>\n

Dreams are so weird.<\/p>\n

(c) Slow Suburban Death.\u00a0 All rights reserved.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This was not a pizza dream. A serial killer had gotten around to killing some friends, a horrible thing when I ran across San Francisco’s<\/p>\n

Continue readingDream State – Lip balm the murderer<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[12,39,43],"tags":[105],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/annapirhana.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1269"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/annapirhana.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/annapirhana.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annapirhana.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annapirhana.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1269"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/annapirhana.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1269\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/annapirhana.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1269"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annapirhana.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1269"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annapirhana.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1269"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}