Monster great: Gorgo’s parent

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J74HRwl0b0

Hell hath no fury like a monster who is in search of its Gorgo, a tiny tot monster who has been removed from its home in the Irish waters to become a Battersea Park sightseeing attraction. Placed in a pit, the British eat snacks while staring at the monster, whose cries sound like a chair dragging across a floor, interspersed with lion roars.

At its core, “Gorgo” is simply a tale of a parent in search of its child. It has all the intensity of “Not Without My Daughter” if you replace the Mahtob and Sally Fields with a pair of monsters that looks to have been spawned from spare Gamera parts. Gorgo was simply a baby monster playing on Nara Island, retreating to the water after being pelted with torches by local villagers. Once he is hauled away by a band of greedy characters who choose to do the very wrong thing by bringing the baby monster to England, where he is hauled along the Thames and through the touristy parts of London as if he were a retired space shuttle.

That is supposed to be the sad part, and we know this because there is an Irish stowaway boy from Nara Island who seems to know how to verbalize Gorgo’s feelings. This is a creepy child.

To the rescue is Gorgo’s parent, 200x the size of its toddler who is now flapping his arms and wailing away underneath a giant rollercoaster. The parent proceeds to destroy a Royal Naval ship, then walks all the way to London, skipping all the neat towns in between. It’s either that, or the film either wants you to think that London lays right next to the ocean.

Once in London, however, Gorgo spares no one. He only travels along the tourists routes, walking along the Thames and destroying bridges, then moving to Piccadilly Circus while sinking his claws into brick buildings, causing pieces to crush fleeing Londoners.

When the British police and military recommend that citizens flee to the underground for safety, Gorgo’s massive weight crushes the stations, raining more bricks onto a crowd of people crushed together on train platforms.

The massive destructive power of this monster is on the scale of God-like. The parent is undeterred when confronted with flame throwers, dropped bombs and even a massive electrocution attempt. No one, in fact, has thought of returning the child to its parent, because it is more important to waste ammo, exercise population control and show a gigantic monster heading towards London just who is boss.

The film ends when the strange American broadcaster, who has been narrating events because the British do not seem to have anyone available of equal talent, delivers a philosophical speech mocking mankind’s attempts to stop nature.

Interesting note about this film: Its location was changed from famous city to famous city, and the producers even considered Australia until it was determined that no one would care if a monster destroyed the country down under.

(c) 2014 Slow Suburban Death.  All rights reserved.